I learned long ago that ministry moves at the speed of relationships.

Without developing them, your people’s ability to have spiritual conversations will be difficult at best. Church growth will be sporadic. To spur growth churches often develop programs like “Bring a Friend to Church”, but if your people haven’t developed relationships, who will they invite?

Greg Oden writes in his book, Transforming Discipleship, that Christians are intimidated and shrink from having spiritual conversations. Perhaps, you see this in your church.

It’s your job to put them at ease.

Having a spiritual conversation is like sharing what you loved about the latest movie or what happened to you at work. The tone and body language are the same. They are just like normal conversations because they are normal conversations.

Your people have relationships with people where they live, work, study, or play. They are already having lots of conversations about lots of different things.

The key to having a natural conversation about your faith is to listen and ask questions. This is no different than a lot of conversations you have. Train your leaders to keep their antennas up about what is going on in that person’s life. Like:

  • Is there a crisis occurring?
  • Is there a larger question that can’t be answered?
  • Is there a comfort being sought?
  • Is there a challenge that can’t be overcome?

These four questions are invitations to share how God has worked in similar circumstances. Deeper conversations like these usually occur between those who have built trust and respect with each other.

There is no script. There is no agenda. There are no prepared questions. Just a simple response from one friend to another.

If you are discussing current events, you could ask them what they believe and why. Then you could say, “My faith teaches me …” as you share what you believe. This often leads to a deeper conversation and opens the door for future conversations.

You can also open up to some about something you’re facing, a decision, a difficult conversation, a personal battle, and share how God carried you through it.

One time, a church member shared her horrid domestic abuse story including leaving in the middle of the day with her kids. With only the clothes on their back and one suitcase a piece, they eventually found safety. She described how God protected and provided for years. She spoke of the Scriptures that strengthen her resolve and comforted her in times of despair.

Her story had a profound impact on a lady listening. She went through something similar but did not see God’s hand working until she heard this member’s story. She drew closer to God because of it.

These are types of “preaching the word in and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort with complete patience and teaching.” (1 Tim 4:2) It is also, “being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience,…” (1 Peter 3:15)

Starting a spiritual conversation is one of five skills developed in our Making Disciples section of our Leadership Ladder cohort.

If you are looking for your church to minister to more people in better ways, but you are not quite sure how to get there, let’s talk. I walk alongside pastors and help them connect the dots. I can do the same for you.

Use this link to start a conversation on how.